Today as I sit on my semi-permeant perch upon the 36th floor looking out over what should be my view of NYC, I see nothing but a white mist hovering and blocking my view of the city. This has not been one of my better days mentally. I've had some stressful news from various parts of my family and to be perfectly honest, I'm struggling with faith for my healing right now. I think when you are in constant pain it can be hard to continue to hold on to hope. I would be amiss to portray myself as someone who never has doubts or doesn't struggle daily with my faith. Before I got sick, I didn't question much in the way of my spiritual life but as this sickness descended upon me and after four years of excruciating pain, breast cancer and very few answers, I have been shaken to the core.
God was good and at a time when I thought my faith was at it's end, He directed us to our new church which has lovingly and painstakingly helped both Josh and I to begin to rebuild our faith. No, I am not healed, but if my faith only worked perfectly when I was well and life was good, it wouldn't be faith. Faith is only true when it is tried….unfortunately.
I was uplifted in a special way this last week. For any Christian, you know it was Passion Week culminating with Easter. Our church celebrates the Seder each year and this was our first time to ever enjoy the Seder Celebrating. To be honest, we had to look up the history to understand what we were going to be participating. For those of you questioning what a Seder is, here is the definition: "A Seder is a Jewish ritual feast that marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover celebrating the Children of Israel's deliverance from Egypt." When you put that in a Christian context and mix it with the death and resurrection of our Saviour, it is a very beautiful thing. By the end of the Seder, I couldn't stop the tears remembering just how much I mean to God and how He sent His only son to die for me. It brought back home the reality that God does care, even when living in a world broken by sin and our circumstances are less than perfect, He is still our Deliver.
|Lynne sitting at the Seder|
After that very special service we had Easter to look forward to on Sunday. Everyone was dressed up and ready to complete the week with the ultimate celebration of Christ's resurrection. Pastor Carl gave a compelling message and everyone was truly blessed. Sometimes in our busy lives with the difficulties of day to day living clouding our minds, we need to take that time to remember we are victorious through Christ and allow our faith to rebuild in His Life, Death and Resurrection. After service we had luncheon with a lovely young couple in our church and one of the children's friends. It was a delightful and refreshing day of fellowship. Another benefit to being in a church family.
|Our Babies on Easter|
Sometimes the burdens of life, no matter who you are or what you are carrying, can become almost too much. We are human and get weary and when we are failing, we must learn to turn to those sources God has placed in our lives for strength. Our world may be broken by sin for a while longer but Christ knows what we are going through and God has made provisions for us until He returns.
|Easter Sunday Worship.|
I am most grateful for a husband who supports me daily. I know he must get weary too but he is always there with a shoulder for me to cry on during my bad days and then finds ways to redirect my thoughts back to faith and to pick-up again and fight. I am blessed and I am truly grateful. I am also blessed with our three children who care for me. They have often given up things they wanted to do for my sake and are integral parts in my treatment. We do what we can to make it fun and they have learned so much through my illness. We have become very close-knit, more so than most families. When you face death together and you see the other side, there is a bond that goes far deeper than the average relationship.
|Lynne and Taddington during|
worship on Easter Sunday.
Even during the dark days when faith seems impossible to capture again, God has a plan and gives us strength to face the future. I am here today because I serve a Big God who loves and cares for each and everyone of us and during the last week, it has reaffirmed my faith in my Saviour…and my healer.
May God Bless and Keep You in His Grace,